yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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