i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
