I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I will pee on everything he values.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
