I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
