Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
