Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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