Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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