I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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