you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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