I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
