Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize