I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
