I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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