I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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