come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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