very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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