Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
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