I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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