she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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