Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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