I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
