At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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