she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
