You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
