Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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