So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
P.S. I can't hear my feet
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Is Oprah even human
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
