My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
