Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
