Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
