That's when you crack a 10am beer
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
