I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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