Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
