But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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