The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Randomize
