how can u be prego again
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
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