I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize