Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Randomize
