Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
