I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
farters have to be the big spoon...
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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