dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
