turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
