My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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