the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
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