Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
We're using joints as your birthday candles
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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