I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
