just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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