the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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