DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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