weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I need moral support for this bender
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
