I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
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I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
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I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
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