My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
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The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
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So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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