Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
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