The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I DEMAND FORESKIN
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
