Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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