i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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