What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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