Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Randomize
