You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
