you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
vagina is talking i cant
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
