I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
