I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
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