dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I'm passing your future prison.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
